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Monday, December 1, 2014

The Apollos Mission


The first mission to the moon was achieved through casual effort. Wildly improvised estimations and vague calculations were used to map out the quest. To reach the moon, all it took was a hastily constructed machine, a smidgeon of math, and a whole lot of sincerity.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Choosing a Messiah


Some experts say there never was a Jesus. They conclude He is pure fiction. A little research into accurate historical records, however, confirms He was very real. There was a Jesus who walked the earth. If anything, one might even argue there were actually too many.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Agnostics Don't Exist


If the distance to God could be measured in units of belief, the atheist would be at the far extreme of the spectrum. After all—when it comes to matters of the soul—what could be worse than an atheist?

Monday, September 15, 2014

Why the Atheist is Right--Part III: The Irrational Christian


If ignorance is bliss, then faith must be downright euphoric.

The general consensus is in. Faith is based on a lack of information. “As everyone knows, religion is based on faith, not knowledge.”*

Monday, September 1, 2014

Why the Atheist is Right--Part II: The Malicious Christian


Who tortured countless people to death during the Inquisition? Who accused thousands of women and executed them as witches? Who used the crooked concept of Manifest Destiny to steal a whole continent?

Christians.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Why the Atheist is Right--Part I: Hello Cruel World


You might believe in God. You might believe evolution falters under close scrutiny. You might believe existence itself cannot be explained by random forces. But there is something on which a Christian and an atheist can agree.

Friday, August 1, 2014

Space--The Final Frontier


The world is turning into concrete and steel. For generations now, there has been a steady flow of people, moving from the country to the big city. In 2008, we hit a landmark statistic—over half of the people on the planet were urbanized. In the United States, 80.7 % had chosen the urban life.

And the percentage is growing all over the world. Some predict that in order to keep up with this global shift, between now and 2050 we will have to build one new city every five days.

It’s not just that we’re growing in number.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Other Big Fat Lies


There are no buffalo in North America. Technically, the majestic beasts roaming Yellowstone are actually bison. And lemmings don’t jump off cliffs. They actually become victims of their overwhelming numbers and in their eagerness to move from one place to another, accidentally shove some of their fellow lemmings over the edge. Also stars don’t twinkle. Starlight is diffracted by our atmosphere, ricocheting like a pinball, creating only the illusion of twinkling.

Thanks, Spock. If we want someone to hover over us with nitpicky facts, we’ll let you know.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Ode to Your Ugly Feet

Don’t feel bad. There’s a website with photographs of beautiful celebrities who have horrible looking feet. There they are in all their glossy glory and down below, at the end of their legs, supporting this dazzling magazine-worthy icon, are two appendages that resemble gnarled roots subsisting in the Mojave. Oddly angled toes, knobby joints, pachydermish skin. Yet somehow, these deformed mutants find a way to get up in the morning. They stand on their hideous feet and press on.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The Bullet Stops Here



Someone is trying to kill you. There might as well be a red laser targeting-dot wavering on your chest. There is a finger on the trigger and he will take the shot.

Yeah, right.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Surviving the Rite of Passage

Graduation Speech for Hyland Christian School
Class of 2014


I am very happy to be here with you for the Hyland Graduation of 2014. But I have to say—as far as rites of passage go, this is all pretty wimpy.

You may not realize it, but in other places, there are more impressive ways to demonstrate that someone has “graduated.”

There’s a country where if you want to prove it’s time for you to move on to being an adult, you go out and hunt a lion.

In 18th Century Hawaii, you had to jump off a cliff into the ocean.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Chapter One: The End



The world is going to end in 2014. By the time we’re singing “Auld Lang Syne,” approximately 56 million people will have died. For them, the world will indeed end in 2014. Whether or not the whole world will also reach a conclusion remains to be seen.

Things are coming to an end. Blockbuster is gone. And Shirley Temple. There are even rumors that very soon we will be singing “So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodnight” to J. C. Penny. Plus, the sun is going to burn out. Not for a few million years (so no need to change your plans for the weekend)—but still.