An Apology to Homosexuals

Sorry about the scowling mob. Sorry about the poster board signs scrawled with cruel words. Sorry about the jokes and the hate and the abuse.

I’m sorry that’s out there. But that’s not us. Those aren’t Christians.

At least they’re not doing what God said to do. A Christian is supposed to put aside “all malice” (I Peter 2:1). The Bible says, “the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:20). I don’t know about you, but to me those people scowling at the camera seem pretty malicious and angry.

In my estimation these people are more concerned about what offends them than what offends God. If they were really taking a stand for God, they would also oppose malice, since God clearly doesn’t approve of it. Yet, I’ve never seen a gathering of religious people carrying signs that say, “God Hates Malice” or “Malicious People Are Ruining Our Nation.”

Our Creator is adamant about this. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice” (Ephesians 4:31). When it comes to Christianity, there is to be zero malice.

The very next verse provides one of the main reasons malice is so out of character for a Christian. “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32). The ultimate hope is forgiveness. Any true Christian will be eager to rescue people from sin, not just kick them while they’re down. Just as God wants every soul to be saved (II Peter 3:9), so does anyone who truly belongs to God.

But this genuine concern for souls is the very thing that brings us to a dilemma. A real Christian doesn’t accomplish anything just by not being malicious. He is defined by love—for God and for people. This love for souls will often motivate a Christian to take a stand against certain things the world holds up as honorable or acceptable. A Christian is all too aware that souls are at stake and that could very well mean he might have to (without malice) oppose anything that puts souls in danger.

Before I go any further, let me go off-road briefly and address a common misunderstanding about a particular Biblical concept. Many times when someone is told they are committing a sin, they will resort to using a handful of words from the Bible. “Do not judge.”

Wielding this snippet, they will say, “You’re not supposed to judge me!” The person who is condemning the sin is then supposed to withdraw. The basic idea seems to be that we should all just leave each other alone and mind our own business.

However, since souls are on the line, that arrangement doesn’t seem conducive to helping anyone. Only those who do the will of God will reach heaven (Matthew 7:21). That means holding each other accountable about obedience is the only hope any of us have. So when God says, “Do not judge,” He is certainly not telling us to not hold each other accountable.  

As always, a lot of religious discord comes from taking scriptures out of context. “Do not judge” comes from Matthew 7 and in this passage, Jesus presents a bizarre analogy. Essentially, it’s about a guy with a board sticking out of his eye condemning a guy with a speck of saw dust in his eye. Jesus is basically saying Board Guy has no right to be critical of Sawdust Guy.

But there’s more to it. Jesus doesn’t wrap it up by saying, “So Board Guy just needs to leave Sawdust Guy alone.” Jesus actually says, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:5). Board Guy is supposed to stop having a board in his eye. But this is to be followed by him helping Sawdust Guy to stop having sawdust in his eye. Jesus doesn’t condemn people for holding each other accountable for their sins. He condemns people for being guilty of sin even as they call people out on sin. Both guys have fragments-of-wood-in-the-eye problems. That’s why Jesus refers to Board Guy as a hypocrite.

If we really care about each other and all the souls around us, we’re not going to let each other live in our sins. That’s not love.

This is how I see it. It’s like we’re all going skydiving. We’re on a plane waiting for our turn to jump. If I look over and see that the person next to me is not wearing his parachute correctly, it would be pretty hypocritical for me to call him out on this if I’m not wearing a parachute at all. But once I put my parachute on, if I care about the other guy at all, I’m not going to just sit quietly and let him jump with his parachute twisted up.

If I really care about him, I’m going to point out the problem. I’m going to say something like, “I think your parachute is on wrong.”

It’s hard to imagine him turning angrily to me and saying, “How dare you judge me!”

I’m not carrying a sign that says, “God Hates People Without Parachutes.” I’m just trying to get us all safely out of here.

With all this in mind, I’m going to present some thoughts that will more than likely make some people mad. Probably more people than you might think. But if it helps, picture me as the guy on the plane. I’m not looking for a fight. I just know that when this life is over, we’re all going to have to jump.

As far as homosexuality, it’s important to get God’s input on the matter. He’s made it pretty clear that it’s a sin. “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God” (I Corinthians 6:9-10). God directly condemns “immoral men and homosexuals and kidnappers and liars and perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound teaching” (I Timothy 1:10). I realize people are currently using some impressive mental gymnastics to dodge these scriptures, but it seems pretty straightforward. Homosexuality is a deal-breaker. Homosexuality is jumping without a parachute.

But before you quit reading, please let me have the opportunity to make some more people mad.

You’ll notice these two passages contain lists. Homosexuality is just one of several things mentioned. The lists also include such things as lying, stealing, and getting drunk. Many of the people who grab these verses to use as ammo for malice don’t seem to notice this. In fact, I bet a lot of them would have to admit they qualify for at least one or two of the other sins mentioned. You don’t see those kinds of signs either. “God Hates Liars!” “Thieves are Ruining Our Nation!”

I think it’s pretty important to notice—most of the time in Scripture, when God condemns such things as sexual impurity, He also condemns a lot of other things right along with it. Poetically enough, in more than one instance, it’s malice. In Galatians, He warns us about “impurity,” but He also pinpoints “outbursts of anger.” As far as He’s concerned, both of these behaviors can compromise your spirituality (Galatians 5:19-21). In Colossians, “impurity” and “evil desire” are identified as sins (Colossians 3:5), but these are quickly followed by this: "But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth” (Colossians 3:8). All of this means that many of those people we see out there condemning sin are actually sinning while they do it. But unfortunately, in most cases, when you hold a malicious person accountable for malice, they only tend to get more malicious.

Regardless, I’m going to go ahead and make even more people angry.

Before I do, I need to point out something about sex.

God invented it. It was His idea. And even though the world scoffs at such standards, God made it pretty clear in Scripture that sex is designed for married people. Sex outside of marriage is identified as sin. “For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor” (I Thessalonians 4:3-4). “Flee immorality (fornication). Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body” (I Corinthians 6:18). Again, current mental gymnastics can twist or shrug off “fornication” as an antiquated concern, but any responsible approach to the Bible will have to conclude that sex outside of marriage (even between heterosexuals) is a sin.

In fact, as harsh as this might sound, premarital sex is a perversion. I know this sounds over the top, but this is meant as an observation, not an insult.

By definition, a perversion is “the alteration of something from its original course, meaning, or state to a distortion or corruption of what was first intended.” Since God designed and intended sex strictly for marriage, then anything outside of that standard is an alteration of the original course. It is a distortion of what was first intended (I Corinthians 6:16). It is an insult to the Designer as well as the design.

Hang on—this gets worse. A person who commits sexual impurity is putting their soul in jeopardy, but so is the one who merely indulges thoughts about sexual immorality. “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28).” Like it or not, this is where the lines have been drawn.

I’m sorry. In a roundabout way, this is an apology for the double standard prevalent among the “Christians.” I suspect that many, many members of the angry mob are not only obviously guilty of malice, but I bet they are also quite guilty of sexual immorality.

More than once, I’ve heard a person condemn homosexuality as an “abomination.” And it’s true. That’s exactly the word God uses in Leviticus 18:22. But again, this particular sin does not stand alone.  Worshipping false gods is an abomination (Deuteronomy 13:12-14). A defective animal sacrifice was an abomination (Deuteronomy 17:1). A man dressing up like a woman or a woman dressing like a man was called an abomination (Deuteronomy 22:5). So is cheating (Deuteronomy 25:13-16), murder, lying, and just causing trouble (Proverbs 6:16-19). This is not to suggest that an abomination is any less serious. But it does show that homosexuality does not have the monopoly on it.

At this point, if we’re not careful, we could make a serious mistake. Since all of us have probably qualified for at least one of these abominations, we might make the mistake of concluding that these sins are not a big deal. The point here is not that we are all a little broken and we need to just leave each other alone. The point is that sin is sin, but any of them could cost us our soul. That means we are all in great danger. We all have the potential to lose our souls by allowing sin to remain in our lives.

However—full disclosure—even though all sins are equal in their damage to souls, sexual immorality is identified as being more dangerous. “Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body” (I Corinthians 6:18). And homosexuality is singled out as an indication of profound spiritual decline. “For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error” (Romans 1:26-28). Although any sin can cost you your soul, homosexuality in particular is a symptom of serious spiritual degradation. However, like any sin, it can be forgiven.

The true danger of any sin is if it is allowed to remain in our lives. So let me also apologize for those who are reassuring you there’s nothing wrong with homosexuality. It might seem like they are expressing kindness, but to comfort someone without helping them is actually a fairly gruesome thing to do. “They have healed the brokenness of My people superficially, saying ‘Peace, peace,’ but there is no peace” (Jeremiah 6:14). This kind of reassurance is the equivalent of a doctor patting a patient’s hand while they bleed out. It might make them feel supported and encouraged, but it doesn’t help.

I apologize for the agenda that spins homosexuality as genetic fate. Responsible science does not support this and the Bible says that homosexuality is something that can be recovered from, just like you can recover from adultery or stealing. Early Christians committed all of these sins, but in the wake of these mistakes, God says, “Such were some of you”—past tense (I Corinthians 6:9-11). Homosexual behavior is a choice just like heterosexual premarital sex is a choice.

Something else that makes this difficult is just plain old simple emotions. When we feel like we are “in love,” we make all kinds of bad decisions. This infatuation is the foundation of all kinds of disasters, including adultery. We do not intentionally set out to sabotage our lives. Many times, however, we let infatuation take over instead of rational thinking.

Despite what many pop songs have said, just because it feels right, doesn’t make it right. We have all been duped by our hearts. So it’s always wise to learn to make decisions with your brain. Being swept away by hormonal cascades is one of the best ways to make just about anybody’s life pretty miserable. 

It’s one thing to have certain feelings. The complications arrive when we act on these feelings in defiance of God. It’s easy to surround yourself with people and catch phrases that enable you to indulge in sin. The world will provide plenty of support to make you feel just fine as you spiral. But when it comes to infatuation vs. love, I would highly recommend the Bible again for guidance.

Here’s the gist of all this. I’m sorry that so many people have been vicious about this. But I’m also sorry that you are surrounded by a world that is trying to make you feel at ease with something that could cost you your soul. I know our culture has made this a tired catch-phrase, but God really does love you. Any agony or turmoil you are experiencing—God is eager for that to end. But He is also determined to end any sin that has settled into your life.

He doesn’t want to just make you feel better. He wants to rescue you.